Happy days and sunshine
by Cookehz
Summary: What happens when Tingle gets jealous of Links new boyfriend? WARNING: This fanfiction is rated M for disturbing images, Crack and more Crack.This story also contains the Happy Mask Salesman, Midna with an AK-47, a haunted swimming pool, impossible children, brain anerisums, and disturbing swimwear... so be warned... I mean it... One-shot Plz review. I'd love to improve my writing.


Link awoke refreshed that afternoon. The birds chirped, the sky was a crisp pale blue, and the sun's rays warmed his face. _Hmmm,_ the young man thought to himself, _I must have fallen asleep during the picnic. _Link turned his head to the right and his suspicions were confirmed. Next to the hero lay his one true love; snuggled up to him smiling while sleeping peacefully, lost in a world of dreams. Link smiled at his honey-boo's beautiful, flawless face. Link and his companion were soul mates; meant to be together until the end of time. Link's one true love would be, and always be: The Happy Mask Salesman.  
The first time Link ever saw the Salesman was inside the clock tower in Termina. He had never known about the mask shop in castle town. Link knew, right then, when he first turned around to see the joyful Salesman beaming back at him, that he was the one… The hero then listened to the Happy Mask Salesman plea of help: Majora had stolen his most powerful mask and planed to destroy the world with it! Link knew then that he had to do everything in his power to get that mask back, not for the world, but for Happy, The Happy Mask Salesman. After Link had saved the world and everything was all over, he went back to Hyrule where Zelda cast a magical spell on him turning him into an adult. Then Link traveled back to Termina where he confessed his love for The Happy Mask Salesman and the salesman said he had thought the same way about Link. Now they lived together running the mask shop in Clock Town together. They had never had happier days!  
Link gently shook the salesman awake,  
"wakey, wakey darling…" He cooed softly into the other man's ear.  
"I don't want to", moaned the salesman while nuzzling his face into Links neck.  
"Come on Happy, we should be heading back to Termina to re-open the shop."  
"But I wanna stay here and snuggle…" Happy complained.  
"Oh alright I guess we could stay here a little longer…" compromised Link.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too."  
Off in the distance, behind a tree, someone glared jealously at the couple. It was Tingle. The short, stubby, 35 year old man, in a green unitard grumbled,  
"How could that creep take away my precious Mr. Fairy?"  
Tingle then thought for a moment, and then realized that Link was just going out with the Happy Mask Sales Man to make Tingle jealous! Well Tingle wouldn't have that! He would have to use his "irresistible charm" to seduce Link into wanting him! Tingle's frown grew more intense. That salesman and Link were kissing passionately now! How could Link!? Tingle ran away from his hiding spot near the tree crying…

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea Link?" Happy asked nervously.  
"Of course it is!" Link reassured. Link and Happy had gone to the pool to have some summer fun but Happy didn't know how to swim, so Link was in the water with him ready to teach him how!  
By now Tingle had approached the pool in his swimwear. That wasn't the worst part though. No, the eye bleeding sight that would make the devil himself cry and vomit was that: Tingle wore a hot pink thong. His greasy flab hung over it, desperate to escape the tight shiny garment of clothing.  
He strode confidently through the area, flab jiggling with every step. Parents covered there now permanently damaged children's eyes, babies cried, and many people retched. But did Link notice? No. he had his love in his arms slowly helping him tread water. Tingle found the duo and cleared his throat.  
"AHEM!" Link looked up and saw the monstrosity of a man and instantly dropped happy in the water (by accident). The salesman panicked and started flailing spastically. Tingle laughed.  
"U-u-u-u-u…um… c…c-can I… help…you…?" Link sputtered, gawking and horrified.  
"Why yes you can!" Tingle cheered,  
"Watch my sexy twirking!" Tingle then proceeded to twirk aggressively. An unlucky child nearby had a brain aneurism. Link started to sob hysterically and The Happy Mask Salesman screamed bloody murder. Luckily for the whole universe, Midna was there, crying blood, and she had an AK-47 in which, she shot Tingle to death with. But Tingle's body came back as a redead! Everyone evacuated the pool. And from that day on that pool was known as the haunted swimming pool…

* * *

Link just finished telling his haunted swimming pool story to his 11 children when happy walked in holding a plate of fresh baked cookies. Midna was also there, snoring loudly on the couch. "Who wants cookies!?" cheered the Happy Mask Salesman. All of Link's and Happy's children (and Midna) cried "ME!" and they all lived happily ever after!


End file.
